Think Before You Screw Up

       One of the largest shifts in the business of the cemetery over the last century or more is a shift in ownership. From us to them. It is not a drastic shift because ownership of graves and memorials moved logically from us to trustees to them. If you research this trend, you’ll find these shifts were mostly done to insure graves whose owners and families themselves died off, as during famines (see Irish history.) “In the olden days” cemeteries crowded the churchyard and trustees were setup to care for the entire ground. Most of these trustees are still active today, but include massive burial grounds. Bottom line is that you do not own the grave or the memorial. You do have burial rights usually forever in America (from 15 to 90 years in many European countries – a whole other book.) And, of course, if you want to modify or replace the family headstone, no one at the cemetery will object. So long as you are the original deed holder. Once the deed holder is gone, the cemetery will make the heirs jump through hoops to affect any change to ‘their’ grave and monument. This assures future visitors are guests welcomed to the park to partake of it and to allow it to remain beautiful and functional. 

This trend is nowhere seen more readily than in the public mausoleums. These structures first appeared as the modern cemetery , with all its acreage, found itself squeezed in by a city.  The oldest that I am aware of dates to the 19^th century. They can be found in every large cemetery today. In many of these astounding and lovely structures visitors are not even permitted to leave gifts at all. There is no designing permitted and no epitaphs or endearments. They are big, fancy, mortuary vaults.  Inside a visitor feels entombed rather than welcomed or at ease. A product and necessity to the times.

They are also convenient and sanitary, reminiscent of a chapel. So it has benefits, especially if you’re in high heels or better than street attire. Although I recommend against high heels even so; notice the floor in picture, it’s common brickwork. They are not designed by monument builders, architects get these projects and, apparently do not confer with memorialists. Not by the looks of the projects, anyway.  The look and feel is functional, like a modern chapel.  There is very little inspiration yet there is always lots of seating and cute little gardens. Be careful not to create trash as there are no dispensers. Expect the air temperature to be too hot during summer and remarkably crisp during winter. I will give it this: the interiors are so quiet that outside noises from trains and planes are even muffled. You can vividly hear yourself think and, if such a place can induce you toward fond memories, they’ll come through loud and clear. They transpose the cemetery from memorial garden to bodies stacked around tiny, cultured gardens. Don’t expect much inspiration when visiting these structures. And, unless you’re a ‘thoroughly modern Millie’ try to avoid even coming near these buildings.

The ancestor to these structures is the private or personal mausoleum. The very first was built for Alexander The Great’s dad and is today  the rich man’s very own pyramid or kingly tomb.  Unlike its bigger and younger brother, these are filled with inspiration. Most are ornately designed and you get this echo from the Victorians that wealth boosts our heavenly reward  - like the bucks are not good enough in the here-and-now? Very few do not excite the spiritual side of the imagination and very few are ever in danger of ruin. They are built with forever as the goal. Few are strictly functional. Not designed by architects, these are master strokes from memorial builders wherein the visitor feels not like entombed but at bedside.  They are also extremely fine representations of their times. My family mausoleum, designed by my uncle Pasquale, was erected during the early 1960s when functionalism was king. Thus it looks like a box with a dramatic stained glass window. If you return to the Victorian ones, gosh! they’re elegant and over done with so much filigree that it takes hours to take them all in. The mausoleum you see above was built in 2003 and speaks to the quest for a return to classical design.

What you see here is called an etching. Usually preformed on black granite, once the polish of a stone is broken by a sharp point, it will remain like that as long as the stone exists. The art form has been around as long as dark stone has been employed.  It is photographic yet uniquely artistic because it requires an etcher to create the image without blue print or tools other than a pointed object and small mallet.  I post an interesting tale about etchings in Part II, don’t skip over it..This etching was preformed by Bill Peisher, of Woodburn Monuments, N.Y.

Leaving Rocks. In ancient times most graves were tumuli (singular: tumulus) a mound of earth and stones rasied over a grave(s). The idea was to protect the body from animals as well as a means to locate and identify the spot. You were expected to tend to the mound during visits and that action is carried on today through a tradition often seen at Jewish cemeteries, but almost anywhere.  Stone will not hurt stone – unless struck. But paints and especially adhesives can permanently stain bronze, granite and marble surfaces. In this photo we see a child’s toy that surely touches our hearts. I imagine a child left it there as a token of his visit. A cemetery worker might (and might not) remove it. However, if left there over time the sun will melt the rubber wheels, rain will spread the paint and the top of this monument will be indelibly marked. Never affix anything at all to monuments and markers unless it is properly doled and attached by a professional.

Gold leaf is a good example. I am always astounded by claims from my own industry that someone, somewhere can affix gold to stone and guarantee it will last forever. Notably, most who claim this are near the end of their career / life and greedy enough to grab the last buck that’s lying around. Most builders will gladly attach gold to stone, as long as you sign a wavier and understand it will fall out eventually.  The gold leafing in the DiMaria stone shown here started to fall out before its fifth year. Stone and even bronze circulates air and moisture. Pour a bucket of water over a small monument and watch what happens. It will dry top down just like a sponge. Nothing glued or painted to stone can fasten itself forever. The water and air moving around in the stone itself will eventually undo the foreign material.