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Love Chase
Chapter 4
February 5th, I purposely placed Mr. Shaw's appointment at the end of
the day. I wanted to review some of his tale and their inner
meanings as they applied to his life. That was if I could get
him to loosen up. I felt these things had to be explained and
explored. Without doing so, I was at a loss to understand the meaning
of his tale or its impending moral, if there were any. Yet I noticed
myself growing a fondness to it. I found myself actually looking
forward for him to continue this tale of primitive Africa.
Not only on that Tuesday but all the past week. Africa
had always interested me in the manner it attracts many others.
I knew very little about the Dark Continent, which also tells
you how up to date I stood. Africa has not really been dark for some
time now. It was dark to me because I knew little about it. This tale
opened my eyes to a land and a way of life I desired to know
more about; for some reason only my analyst could decipher. If I
had one.
If I could swear to a happy ending, Dennie would enjoy
Mr. Shaw's story and his unusual method of therapy. She was the
artsy-craftsy type. Primitives excited her, especially their simpler
ways, or simpler from our standpoint. Forever she sought the
illusive butterfly of life.
Mr. Shaw arrived promptly. I told Yvonne to leave
whenever she cared to and readied myself for more about the ancient
African kids. But Mr. Shaw, to my dismaythough I remained even
temperedthrew years away from his tale and began with: "Many
years later, Doctor, when the Sahara began showing sure signs of its
ruin fate, we catch up with the four now grown. And so Mr. Shaw
struck up a sequel.
Under a very hot sun, we find a group of Stone Age
women. Sheba and Meka along with a few others. A woman by the name of
Gaz sat between our ladies. They sat restless and sweltering outside
the entrance of Ahutu. The village was now smaller. Many families had
left for Nubia or lands far from the dying Sahara. Livestock shrank
along with its life sourcevegetation.
Sheba and Meka were two of the women in the gathering.
The girls are now mature women. Their skins are tough. So too are
their hearts. But these hearts do not lack kindness or devotion to
their families and people. In that aspect, their hearts were firm and unyielding.
Softly the women held conversation among themselves.
When the talk fell idle or grew boisterous, the speaker cared not
whose ear turned up. When they spoke of darker things, only a woman's
whisper could be heard as not to arose the constant flow of
children's ears about Ahutu's gate.
"Six days is a long time for a hunt Sheba worried
as she sat close to Meka.
"The beast is on the run, Meka glanced along the
bright horizon while laying an assuring hand to Sheba's forearm. Our
men will return with a great animal. You shall see. But Sheba merely
nodded and all the same. She never did grow accustomed to the awful
waiting ordeal women had to endure ever since hunts began.
Uncertainty gripped her always, as she feared for her husband, Tanu.
By daylight she longed for his comforting presence and strong touch.
Her nights moved slowly filled with strange dreams, odd dreams that
brought them together through the quiet African night. They filled
her bosom with his scent as if he were lying at her side, she
contented just to be with him, Tanu happy to have her solid breast to
absorb the fatigue of a day's hunt, while unseen birds and monkeys
made song of the dry Sahara evening air.
But the last night dream bothered Sheba for it rattled
her sleep with odd visions of strange men unknown to her simple mind.
She could not reconcile this dream and it created worry deep inside
her. I wish I had your patience, Meka.
"Patience is nothing more than understanding the
flow of time, Meka shrugged as if brushing her cousins worry.
Gaz raised an eyebrow to Meka and chimed in, "I can
tell you have been spending too much time with the shaman man, by
such odd words. Dropping her stitching momentarily, Gaz added,
And you know you do, Meka. Gaz along with other women within earshot,
and even Meka, laughed. Sheba's heart sank too low for laughter just
then, but she added a wry smile.
Meka hurried to change the subject. When will you and
Tanu have children?
This topic came much lighter for Sheba. She had no
children of her own, but always found time for any within arm's
reach. When the gods bless us so, she beamed and grabbed in jest at a
young boy rushing by after another. I hope it will be soon. You and
Karut are very blessed to have three.
"Not so sure, Meka rolled her eyes. Whew! They are
everywhere always! Would you want to take one off my hands?
Oops! Meka caught her words, You would; wouldn't you? The women
shared a laugh when suddenly some children nearby alerted all to the
hunters coming over a ridge which ran parallel to the village's stone
wall but some hundred yards from the gate. Sheba and Meka looked up
without moving. Carefully they searched the approaching band for
their men. This task has to be the hardest and most solitary ordeal
for a Stone Age woman. For within those fleeting moments hangs the
remainder of her life on a thread. A thin string balancing between
her man arriving safely or the surviving hunters having to accept her
and her children into their keep in respect to their dead brother.
And all this had to be repeated after each hunt.
But when the hunters figures appeared the women lost all
apprehension and turned almost giddy.
"I can see Tanu!' Sheba pointed, took a moment,
then cheered, And there is Karut! Meka delightfully peered out
for her own view as Sheba recognized another hunter by name. I see
Lumbo also!
She always did see the men first, Lumbo's wife, Gaz,
half joked, half mocked.
Rising as if to alert Tanu to her presence, she smiled
back at Gaz. I can because I am with my husband forever."
"That talk again. Gaz mumbled while she tried to
ascertain Lumbo's condition. Gaz accepted her man was in one piece
and back home. She commented on their conversation while
keeping her attention on weaving cloth for her fourth son. Weaving it
now a lot more calmly then during the wait. Something unholy about
you and Tanu. Don't you think so, Meka?
"Never you mind, Gaz, Meka answered firmly. Sheba
is a gullible soul. Tanu put those crazy things in her head long ago.
Puts things in your head! Gaz went on without scorn but,
nonetheless with abomination. And he doesn't treat you with much
care...That I can see anyway.
"That is true, Gaz, Sheba angrily replied, That you
can see.
Let her think as she will, Gaz. Meka waved both the
women off. Let her think she and Tanu are one or whatever they're
suppose to be.
"I should be talking to you! Gaz rolled her eyes
heavenly. Soon you will become an Enchantress with all the time
you follow the shaman around. I see you hanging onto every word
he says. Everyone sees it. I think Sheba is now taking lessons
from you!
"But it is true! Sheba took up the fight with a
wide grin for her home coming hunter and acid in her voice for Gaz.
Tanu is Tanu, and you are Sheba, Gaz looked up
momentarily. You are two different people. You are a woman, sister to
us. Tanu is a man. He belongs to the world of his gender. Then she
warned, People who believe themselves other than who they are will
become so. The gods will punish you for such thinking.
"They will not, these gods! Sheba growled then
added, I believe it for I feel it. A feeling I know can never die,
her voice went soft. It is forever. Do you not also feel the same for
your husband, Gaz? Meka? All the women gathered then looked
into Sheba's innocent eyes. They thought of their own individual love
for their husbands as well as the burden of being wives, rearing
children and conducting homes. They all tried to sense the balance
between their own loves for their husbands against what weight the
task of loving the man, as the conversation died.
"They have a kill! Meka cheered loudly.
All six women swiftly stood up. They began to hurry out to their men.
Now that a kill had been determined, the women could traditionally
display their approval of the homecoming. Children scurried to
alert the village. Some shot out towards the hunters while
others brought the good news to the villagers.
"From the ridge Tanu's tired eyes saw his lovely
wife and the other women rise to begin their approach. He
smiled not, for age and hunting had long removed any trace of youth
from within his soul. His body had grown immense and strong. His dark
eyes went tight from the bright sun though his sight remained as
sharp as his spear. The eyes did not dream of exciting hunts
any longer. Instead they only sought the prey and guided deadly
hands unto the kill. His only soft spot remained for Sheba and
Sheba alone. For in his heart he held her alone dear and where
she may be he permitted no strife. From his distance he studied
her flowing form as she moved nearer. The sight usually warmed
his heart and swelled his chest for she certainly was the loveliest
of all the women of Ahutu. But on this day he harbored more
concerns than the hunt. His heart pumped with a worry for his
Sheba and a confusion of things seen during the hunt.
"Tanu lead his weary hunters toward the village and
the approaching women and children. The men struggled behind
him, dragging a torn up boar by its hind legs. The men all were
visibly relieved to see their wives and Ahutu. The hunt had
stretched out for longer than expected or wanted. Deep in their
souls they wished for the old days when the lion roamed the Sahara in
great numbers. But the lion also went to Nubia leaving behind
only boars, monkeys, cattle and a new creature no one dared kill
because of its value for traveling long distances - the camel.
"Not a hundred paces away, the women halted.
Amid happy children they laid down blankets and extracted long
knives. Sheba and Meka joined their blankets and knelt close
together before the clothes. Something is wrong, Sheba suddenly
grew dim. Something is not right. Something bad happened out there.
"Unholy talk again, Gaz called over from where she
set up her blanket.
They look safe to me, Meka shrugged. She wondered
what Sheba meant while a chill dashed at her spine from the thought
Gaz interjected.
As the men drew closer, children ran up to them.
The children delighted in helping to drag the boar. From the
village came many others. The shaman chanted, women came with
blankets and knives and the herdsmen followed the village elders.
Almost in tears the women embraced their brave
hunters. Men sank into the bosoms of their wives. Here is
our kill! Karut cried from Meka's embrace. Downed by Tanu
himself! Everyone cheered, Tanu acknowledged them as he
gently met Sheba. He did not embrace her then as the others had
their wives. That he saved for when they were alone.
Sheba understood his ways. After all they needed no such
display, as they believed no real distance ever lied between them.
"Welcome, my husband, she smiled into his strict
face. Welcome home to your village and my bosom. Then she came
closer to his ear. You are troubled, Tanu. What has happened
out there? But Tanu tenderly pushed her from him and told her to
choose their portion of the boar; which she promptly did. Not
any less concerned, however. Watching her, Tanu saw the worry
she harbored. To dismay he leaned into her, he kissed her olive
cheek and whispered that he merely felt tired from the long
hunt. And Sheba, wise to the tricks of her man, returned his
kiss and smiled while returning to the boar.
Everything would have been fine and hidden had not Karut
opened his mouth directly from his embrace with Meka. Armed men, he
said to Sheba, his voice almost tattle-tale That is what Tanu
thinks of today. Tanu's eyes growled at Karut. They seemed to
reach right out and strangle him. Sheba knew Tanu would
feel betrayed so continued with her own thoughts with her head down
and hands busy.
"What men? Meka asked of her man.
"Nothing, Karut, with eyes now cowered, tried to
recapture Tanu's respect. Nothing, Meka. Cut the boar,
woman. Stepping toward Tanu, he grunted, I am sorry. Tanu
reacted coldly.
"He is sun crazed, Tanu whispered to Sheba
then knelt at her side as all the hunters began to hit the ground
aside their women and around the boar. Tanu knew Sheba had
thoughts of her own. Sitting close to her, he ignored the
others. The ordeal of the hunt left little strength for his emotions
to pull at him. Yet he felt disjointed for he seldom lied to
Sheba. He turned his attention from the gathering and the hunt to
speak only to his wife. I just want to look upon you for a
while. She half smiled back. Her almond eyes brewing with
love. Then sit close! She tried to leave a questioning mood
behind her. Then, as he nudged closer, she pushed him fully
down amid laughs from the others. Instantly their separate moods
joined into one of love. Tanu succumbed to a smile yet waved
her unto the boar. Sheba giggled as she drove into the
creature. I will take my fair share! The women then
joined her carving up the boar.
The shaman came to Tanu. He waved his hands about
the hunter's head and sang out chants of praise to the delight of
everyone. Tanu appeared slightly embarrassed which only added to
everyone's glee.
As the boar got divided, old man Imblu found his way
through the villagers and to Tanu. Behind him came other elders
to congratulate the brave men and call the hunt a success. Imblu
loudly told everyone that Tanu's boar was bigger than any lion Ahutu
had ever seen. But Tanu knew better. Everyone but the children
knew better yet not one hungry mouth cared. Food is food. Tanu,
upon hearing Imblu's voice, lost all concern with the gathering and
stood up to speak with Imblu. Tanu also called to another elder,
Talki. He tried to do all this without attracting attention but many
eyes watched as Tanu directed the two old men from the crowd. Sheba
naturally watched after them.
"Your eyes are dim, my son, Imblu expressed concern
once they created a comfortable distance from the others. What is it, Tanu?
Tanu jumped straight into the matter, One day's walk
from here we saw armed men.
"Are you certain? Imblu reacted with worry.
"Yes, strange men with long spears and very long
knives hanging from their waists. Some wore strange and very
colorful clothing and many others wore nothing but the knives and
foot gear.
"The Delta, Talki mumbled through his heavy gray beard.
Imblu only replied with a perhaps to Talki then asked
how many men Tanu saw.
"Many, he answered then wondered, What is this Delta?
"A land far away, Talki told him. It is a
village as large as Sahara itself and filled with people.
Tanu stood amazed. This is true, Imblu? Such a
village really exists?
"Yes, it thrives off a river which has a name.
"The river is called by a name! This struck
Tanu. To him a river was just a river because Ahutu had but one
river. Perhaps it flowed to somewhere or formed a landmark of
sorts, but a river being called by a name was unheard of. Imblu
told him its name - Nile - and the village was called The Delta.
"These men, Tanu lost his amazement to
fear, must be from this Delta. Never have I seen so many
men at one time. Their walking feet created thunder across the
valleys. Surely half their numbers could hunt a heard of the
largest lions!
Imblu appeared thoughtful. He glanced about to be
sure no ears but theirs heard. He spoke low with urgency, They
do not hunt beasts, Tanu. Tanu frowned at his words. If
lion and boar were not these strangers' game then which creature did
they follow with such unusual weapons? These men hunt
men, Imblu shocked him. And not to eat. Merely to
kill. Tanu immediately feared for Sheba. His glance
marked his thoughts as he peered back at her amid the crowd hard at
festive work.
"By the gods! Tanu shook. Imblu, they
are headed this way!
Imblu was alarmed; Talki also. Finish your
day, Tanu. Then come to my home. We must talk and
consider this news.
Thus when the festivities were over and the day
ended, Tanu told his lovely wife to tend to their bed while he
visited her father to speak of many things. Tanu left as Sheba went
about her duties. She looked forward to that evening together after
the worry of a long hunt. On nights like this, in the sweet
stupor of a hardy supper, love would come easy and good. Softly she
sang as she worked. Her voice complimented the happy Saharan
song yet her heart remained with Tanu. He had been different
since his return. Sheba thought of Karut's slip of the
lip. Whatever Tanu saw during the hunt lived on inside
him. He spent more time inside himself than with dinner or
Sheba's charms. She could sense totally his mood yet she could
not share it or diminish it.
Sheba stirred a moment when a tug came gently to the
hut's door thatching. She called her husband's name. Stepping
directly behind the door, she called once again. The door
jarred a bit as Karut popped his head into the dim light of Sheba's
home. Tanu is not here? he asked.
Greeting him with a smile, Sheba replied, He is
with my father. They speak of serious matters I know nothing of, Karut.
Karut moved yet a fraction more into the doorway.
Knowing that Tanu was not at home he feared having anyone see him
enter the hut. Such things were taboo. They speak of the
many men. True?
Sheba lost her smile by the impact of his words.
She knew the subject would arise of these men but she hoped her
husband would be the one to bring it to her. A trace of anger
gripped her voice. Karut, You must tell me of these many men.
Still in the doorway, Karut shook his head,
If Tanu will not; I must not speak a word, Sheba.
You must tell me! Angrily she searched his
face. My husband is hurt inside his heart from this thing.
I must know how to comfort him!
Karut seized the moment by throwing care to the wind and
stepped into the hut. Closing the door behind him, he
appeared very concerned with her dilemma. Calm yourself, Sheba.
Sheba was taken back by his boldness. She moved
from Karut whose hands had reached out to her. Why do you
enter, Karut? It is forbidden to enter a house void of children!
"Sheba... Karut's voice and eyes pleaded to
her. He desired to touch her, to hold her. There rumbled a
hunger for her in his soul with lust that lived within him since
their youth. But it was a forlorn quest. Perhaps he even
realized the emotions were nothing more than an offshoot of his
respect for Tanu; to be like Tanu in every conceivable way. He
had lived his life in Tanu's shadow in want of Sheba. Thus why,
though born a herder, he rose above his ranks to become a hunter of
no little ability. Sheba's love could not be bargained
for he knew this. She could not love a man for what he was.
She loved Tanu because Tanu belonged to her and she to him. Karut's
love for Sheba was a forbidden lie, a fantasy that would alter his
entire life. Ruin it if he would not chase it from his
mind. Ruin also his love and relationship with the one who was
his, Meka.
Awkwardly trying to counter his display of
emotions, Karut defended his entering into the hut, I make no advances.
"Yet you are not my husband. Step out, please.
Standing his ground, Karut spoke as swiftly as his
mind raced for the words. I can not speak of the many men from
outside. Someone may hear. It is not for the ears of others.
Sheba meddled in confused decisions. Not knowing
what to do, she replied, Then tell me of these
men, Karut. Tell me quickly least Tanu returns to catch
you defiling his house.
Karut took Sheba's hand. He did not hear her command;
only felt the tenderness of her olive skin. Not since their
youth had they touched the warmth, the strength of the others flesh.
What magic is this I feel inside? He asked as Sheba withdrew her
hand. Her face tightened as she peered into Karut's eyes.
"The gods shall punish you from now until the day
you return to them if you carry such desires within you,
Karut." She grew fearful of him for the first time in her
life. You must honor none but Meka or sheshe will be your
undoing. She is your salvation. You must stab the image you
hold of me in your heart. Tear at it over and over again with a knife
sharper than stone can be! Speak not of me. Speak to me of
Tanu, or speak not at all, Karut.
Karut threw more than caution to the wind as he allowed
the fullness, the richness of his feeling for her to take him overand
under. Oh, how completely and utterly lust overtakes men! And finds
reason, not fault, for the passion. Sheba had no children, perhaps
not from a barren womb or any fault of hers. All the talk of Tanu and
Sheba as one listed among imaginings of innocence and childhood
fancy. They were no long children. Nature and passion filled him.
Karuts lust crushed his mind and the man professed his longing for
Tanus wife. He assured her of the strength of his love saying he'd
never betray it.
Sheba stepped away from him. The man lived, played, wed
and resided with her, with them all their lives. She had always known
his feelings and dreaded them. Her sympathy for Meka piqued. Sadly,
she dropped her head and stated bluntly to hear him speak of the many men.
Karut regained his senses. Embarrassed and disheartened,
he confessed what he knew.
Mr. Shaw ended there. As I looked over at him to
see if there would be more I started to see Mr. Shaw's handsome face
looking hard and flushed. His sharp eyes pierced right into mine
as if I had done something dreadful to him.
"Martin?" I inquired. "Are
you all right?" Instantly he lightened
up. Apologizing, he bid me good night and was gone.
The incident so upset me that I completely forgot to
accomplish anything I intended to.
I took usual notes and only mentioned his transformation. I
really did not understand it. Perhaps he tried equating to
the lechery of Karut as if he were Tanu discovering his friend's
lust. But I had no evidence to this. I had no idea which
character, if any, Mr. Shaw identified with. And why did
it seem that I became the object of his anger-or whatever the
mood indicated?
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