Who This Book Is For:

 This may be your first visit to the gravesite of a loved one, and you need to learn how to go about it.  You're wise enough to know others might try to take advantage of you during your trip and that going anywhere for the very first time might hold an adventure you would rather side step.  You may have visited a loved one's resting place before, but it did not go as you expected.  Sometimes, just a few words will help you along. You just need a quick and handy guide.

A cemetery is sacred ground.  It is a park with gardens, lawns, inspiring architecture and monuments, as well as a refuge away from everyday life. It is a place of solitude where we, the living, park our beloved to stare down eternal time. We hope through our prayers that it is a launch pad into a higher form of everlasting life. 

You're in a cemetery.  You're standing before the gravesite of a loved one. You have no idea as to what to do. If you are a person of faith, you might say a prayer.  If not, you may conjure up an old memory or two. Now what?  Do not feel that you are in a friendly place?

Maybe atop the site sits a big rock with carved symbols on it, a gravestone. Maybe there's a simple flat bronze marker. Or a military monolith. Does it carry any meaning to it besides a list of names and dates? What is that for?  To hold your loved one down with?

Got some flowers you picked up from a local flower shop? Did you bring a vase to place them in; got water?  And where exactly do you place them?  How do you decorate a gravesite?  Should you?  Is anyone going to acknowledge your decorations?  Anyone but you?

Another thing: where's the restroom? Is all this supposed to be so difficult?

I'm going to take you on a trip worthwhile.  I'm taking you to a cemetery. 

I have spent the last 44 years of my life studying people just like you. I am a memorial designer and builder.  I am also a cemetery florist.  But my number one job, my first love, has been to learn how to pay a visit,  then help all the people visiting all those cemeteries everyday.  It's not a tough job, in fact it's a highly rewarding one. Sometimes it can become emotional.  That's the territory and that's why there are cemeteries in the first place. In this place we join together to overcome the finality of death and hold memories to ourselves, gather memories together and send memories to those yet unborn.

It is natural to be as close to the ones you love as is humanly possible. Unfortunately, right now, the closest you can get to this loved one is six feet or a slab of stone close. Say what you will about airy spirits winging their way above us in fluffy clouds, or sweet memories which fade or grow into gross exaggerations, yet the fact is she or he is right there in a cemetery. And, right now, so are you while wondering how to conduct yourself.

This book is a handbook, a reference, and a guide. I'm not taking you on a long-winded tour of the history of the cemetery.  I'm not going to waste time with the superstitious aspect either. This is a practical guide for the practical person. And, let's face it, you're here unwillingly and saddened to be so. I understand. It's my job to be your friend.